What to Say (and What Not to Say) to Someone Grieving a Pet

Losing a pet is never easy. Our pets are not just animals; they’re family. They share our lives, comfort us during tough times, and become an integral part of our daily routines. When a pet passes away, it can feel as though a piece of our heart is taken along with them. For those grieving the loss of a pet, support and understanding from others can make all the difference.

However, knowing what to say to someone who is grieving can be difficult. It's important to approach the situation with empathy, as each person's experience of loss is unique. There’s no perfect set of words, but there are ways to offer comfort while being sensitive to the pain someone is going through.

If you find yourself unsure of what to say (or what not to say), we’ve created a guide to help you navigate conversations with someone grieving the loss of a pet.

What to Say to Someone Grieving a Pet

1. Acknowledge Their Pain It’s important to validate their grief. Simply saying, “I’m so sorry for your loss” can mean a lot. It shows that you understand the depth of their sorrow and that you’re there for them. Recognising that their pet was more than just an animal is a thoughtful way to express sympathy.
   
   Example: “I know how much [pet's name] meant to you. I’m really sorry. If you need to talk or need anything, I’m here.”
   
   

2. Listen and Be There for Them Sometimes, the best thing you can offer is a listening ear. Let them talk about their pet, share memories, or express their feelings. You don’t always have to have the perfect words to offer comfort. Simply being present and allowing them to grieve on their own terms can be incredibly healing.
   
   Example: “If you ever want to talk about [pet's name], I’m here to listen.”
   
   

3. Share a Memory of Their Pet Sharing a special memory or moment you experienced with their pet can provide comfort. It reminds them that their pet was loved by others, and it can help them celebrate the life their pet lived.
   
   Example: “I remember when [pet's name] did [funny memory]. They always knew how to make me smile.”
   
   

4. Offer Practical Support Grief can be overwhelming, and sometimes those who are mourning may feel like they can’t handle everyday tasks. Offering practical help, like running errands or providing a meal, can show that you care in a tangible way. Sometimes it’s the little things that make a big difference.
   
   Example: “I’d love to bring over dinner one evening or help you with anything you need. Just let me know.”
   
   

5. Respect Their Grief Process Everyone grieves differently, and it’s important to respect how the person processes their emotions. Some may want to cry, while others may choose to be more stoic. Let them grieve at their own pace, and avoid rushing them to "move on" or "get over it."
   
   Example: “I know this is so tough. I’m here for you, however you need me.”
   
   

What NOT to Say to Someone Grieving a Pet

1. "It was just a pet." While this statement may seem intended to lessen the person’s pain, it can come across as dismissive of their deep emotional connection with their pet. Pets are family members, and their loss is significant. Recognise the bond they shared and acknowledge that grief is real.
   
   Instead, say: “I understand how hard it must be to lose someone so special. I’m really sorry.”
   
   

2. "At least they lived a long life." While it’s true that a long life is a blessing, this statement can minimise the pain of the loss. Every pet’s death is unique, and their loss is felt no matter their age. Grieving a pet is not about how long they lived but how deeply they impacted the person’s life.
   
   Instead, say: “I know how much you loved them. I’m so sorry for your loss.”
   
   

3. "You can always get another one." While this may be said with good intentions, suggesting a replacement pet may make the person feel like their grief is not being understood. No pet can replace the unique relationship they had with the one they lost. Allow them to heal before offering suggestions about getting another pet.
   
   Instead, say: “I can’t imagine how hard this must be. Take your time, and I’m here to support you.”
   
   

4. "They’re in a better place." This phrase, while comforting to some, may not resonate with everyone. People grieve in different ways, and some may not find solace in the idea of a "better place." It’s important to avoid making assumptions about what the person believes and instead focus on offering your support without imposing beliefs.
   
   Instead, say: “I know how much they meant to you, and I’m so sorry you’re going through this.”
   
   

5. "I know how you feel." While it’s natural to want to relate, this statement can unintentionally minimise the person’s unique experience. Even if you’ve lost a pet yourself, each relationship is different, and no two people will grieve in the same way. It’s better to simply acknowledge that you know they are hurting without assuming you know exactly what they are going through.
   
   Instead, say: “I can’t imagine how difficult this must be. If you want to talk, I’m here for you.”
   
   

Supporting Someone Through Their Grief

Grief is a deeply personal experience, and there’s no one-size-fits-all approach to supporting someone through it. The most important thing you can do is show empathy, patience, and a willingness to listen. The grief of losing a pet can feel isolating, so knowing they have someone who truly cares can be a huge comfort.

Here are a few additional tips for offering support:

• Check in regularly: Don’t assume that once the initial shock has worn off, your friend is “fine.” Grief can last for weeks, months, or even years, and it can come in waves. A quick message or call to let them know you’re thinking of them can be incredibly reassuring.

• Respect their space: Some people may need time alone to process their emotions. If that’s the case, give them space but let them know you’re there for them when they’re ready.

• Celebrate their pet’s life: Help your friend celebrate their pet’s life by sharing photos, creating a memory book, or honoring their pet in some way. This can provide comfort and help keep their memory alive in a meaningful way.

Grieving the loss of a pet is never easy, but with compassion, patience, and understanding, you can offer meaningful support to those who are hurting. Sometimes, just saying the right words can help ease the pain and remind them they’re not alone in their grief.

By offering comfort without judgment, and by avoiding comments that may unintentionally hurt, you can show the person who’s grieving that you truly understand and care about their loss. A pet may have passed, but the love and memories they leave behind will last forever.