Loving a Dog through its final Chapter: An Interview with Dog Owner, Jordan.

There’s no single way to navigate loving a dog through every stage of life specially when those stages begin to overlap.

For Jordan, the journey has meant growing up alongside three dogs Dexter, Chuck and Iggy, each marking a different chapter of her life. But as time passed, those chapters began to converge, bringing with them the reality of aging, illness, and the weight of multiple goodbyes.

In this conversation, Jordan shares what it felt like to care for several senior dogs at once, to face difficult decisions without clear answers, and to learn through experience that love, grief and doubt often exist side by side. Her story is one many pet owners will recognise: complex, emotional, and ultimately grounded in doing the very best you can

You've had three dogs across very different stages of your life from 16 till now. Can you introduce them and what each of them has meant to you?

Jordan: Yes. So I have had three dogs. I've had Dexter Chuck and Iggy. Dexter I got when I was 16. He was high school, not parent approved at the time, dog. But anyway, they took Dexter. And then Chuck, we got two years after I left home and brought him home as a surprise for mum and dad to give Dexter a friend. And then Iggy we got when we moved to Sydney when I was 22, and that was me and my  husband's dog. So all three of them this year were 16, 15, and 11. So yes, three senior dogs and all of them, I feel like Dexter was the high school thing that kept me happy. And Chuck, I feel like everyone loves Chuck because I feel like he just never ... even when he was 15, he was like a baby that needed protection at all times.

And Iggy has been literally with us everywhere. I don't think we’ve had a day without Iggy unless we've been overseas. So she's been on van trips around Australia with us and moved states and literally grown up with us.

They're all aging all about the same time. What's that like emotionally?

Jordan: I feel like it's really difficult to have so many senior dogs our lives. My sister also has a senior dog because you just know that all of them are going to come to the end of their life at the same time and you can kind of see all of them slowly aging at the same time as well. They're all getting a bit slower. They all don't play together as much. When they hang out, it's like everyone's just sleeping together, not playing like they used to. So I think it's tricky to see so many dogs aging together and just knowing that they're all going to get to that stage at the same time.

How does that feel? Did you feel like you were preparing for multiple goodbyes at once?

Jordan: Yeah, I feel like preparing for lots of goodbyes when you've got so many senior dogs around is a tricky one because you know it's coming and you can see that in real time them kind of deteriorating and getting older and getting slower. But I don't really think anything can prepare you for actually having to say goodbye. I think you know it's coming every time you see them. My parents look after Dexter and Chuck, and so you cuddle them a little bit more when you go down or you spend a bit more time with them or Iggy, you make sure you give her a bit more love when you see her in the morning. So I think you just cherish time a bit more when it's coming to the end.

Sadly, you did lose both Dexter and Chuck quite close together just recently. How did you process that?

Jordan:  Losing both Chuck and Dexter within six weeks of each other was tough. Definitely losing the first one, which was Chuck, helped process the second one. I think knowing what to expect and knowing what the process looks like and knowing how to say goodbye definitely helped with that. But I think Chuck was a really hard ... I've never had to say goodbye to a dog before, so that was a really, really hard time. But it kind of highlighted that, okay, this thing that is in our heads of one day we're going to have to say goodbye, which kind of felt like a bit of a make-believe time, which was never going to happen, all of a sudden became very real. So I think all of a sudden you just almost had started processing saying goodbye to Dexter before it happened because you knew, oh, this actually can happen.

What was it like making the decision to say goodbye to them?

Jordan: I think making the decision to say goodbye to any dog is a horrible one. And I don't think there's a good or a bad time. I know we spoke about it a lot as a family and with people we knew and the advice was always, it's better too early than too late, but no matter what, you either feel like you did it too early or you feel like you did it too late. I know with Chuck, he wasn't sick as such and he wasn't outwardly struggling. So that was a really, really tough decision to say, we know that this is the right thing for him, but it didn't feel like it was so obvious. Whether with Dexter, it was really obvious that he didn't want to be there anymore and he had kind of physical signs that he was at the end of his life.

So I think deep down no one ever wants to say goodbye to a dog. And so if you feel like you should be saying goodbye, everything in your body is telling you then maybe you should consider this, I feel like it is a bit of an indicator that, okay, you know that that's the right thing to do. It doesn't make it any easier, but yeah, I think whatever decision you make, unfortunately, I don't think you're ever going to feel a hundred percent in it and that it was the right thing because at the end of the day, it's saying goodbye to a dog.

You spoke about knowing it's time. What did that look like for Chuck and how is it different to Dexter?

Jordan: I think knowing it's time, it was very, very different with Chuck with Dexter. I think with Chuck, we as a family could just see that he wasn't the same Chuck. He wasn't excited. He was sleeping so much. He was in pain, couldn't get up on things. And I think it was more doing him a favour and saying, "We don't think he's enjoying life anymore." And that was really, really hard because like I said, there wasn't one big moment where like, "Yep, this is it. " It was just, "I think this is the right thing to do. " With Dexter, it was a very quick process. And that's probably the difference, Chuck. We had, I think, eight days between we made the decision and we said goodbye because it wasn't a rush. It was kind of something that we thought we would make the decision for him, whether with Dexter, it was a blur and something that happened in a matter of 24 hours where he went downhill really quick.

So to me, the Dexter decision was a lot easier decision. I mean, nothing's an easy decision, but Dexter was, it was really, really clear. And I think we almost felt better about that decision than Chuck, because it was so obvious that that was the right thing to do.

Iggy is now 11 and recently gone through cancer treatment. Talk us about how you approached the decisions on where to go with Iggy.

Jordan: Having a senior dog with cancer is a tricky one because there is a balancing act of even the decision to put her under at all is one that comes with its own risk as soon as the dog is older. So there was all these different things that we could do. There was amputation on the board. There was a new drug that we were offered the opportunity to test, which was a lot less invasive. And I think for us, we just wanted her to have the least invasive and the least stressful time. So for us, things like major surgery and putting her under and having to have multiple vet visits seemed like a really stressful thing to do to an 11-year-old dog. So we chose the least invasive and the least follow-ups and things. For us, the risk, it was probably slightly riskier to do it that way rather than surgery, which was proven and what not.

But for us, it was more like quality of life for a senior dog that was important and the stress that she would've had to go through with all that.

Were there any moments where you were unsure or you felt conflicted?

Jordan: I think just with anything with dogs, they can't tell you how they feel and if they're scared and what not. And I think we were really conflicted . One proposal put to us was that we would have to amputate two of her toes to get rid of this cancer. And that was really conflicting because obviously she doesn't know what's going on. She was going to wake up from this surgery with two less toes. And even though they were telling us that was the best thing to do and the most safe and the most proven, it was a really hard thing to go, how do you say, okay, yep, let's put my dog under and take two of their toes. And when they wake up, they're going to have no idea why their foot looks different and feels different. And we went back and forth a lot on that and ended up not doing that for that reason because we just, even though scientifically and from a vet perspective, it was probably the better option, we didn't feel like that's what we wanted Iggy to go through.

What helped you make those decisions with confidence or as much confidence as you can?

Jordan: I think when you're making decisions for your pet or dog or whatever pet you have, I think your gut instinct is really strong. And I think you always know if something doesn't feel right to you, then get a second opinion or think about it or talk about it. Just because a vet says this is the best option, there's normally multiple different options and all of them have their pros and cons. So I think for us it was just giving ourselves the time, not rushing into anything and saying like, "Yep, cool. We've got to get this done because the surgery was booked in so quickly." I think just saying actually, unless something is life-threatening and needs to be made in the next two days, give yourself the time to think about it and ask questions and look at alternatives and just be okay with what the first thing is, isn't actually the only thing.

Going through end of life options with multiple dogs, has it changed the way you think about end of life planning for pets?

Jordan: Going through end of life periods with, I guess, two dogs that recently passed and a senior dog going through cancer, I think now being that my first experience of actually saying goodbye to a pet, I think just my idea of what that feels like and grief. I also haven't really lost any humans in my life, which is obviously a very fortunate position to be in. Losing Chuck and Dexter was probably my first experience with grief generally. I think it's probably just changed my idea of what goodbyes look like. I feel like they were really scary in my head and it's a horrible experience, don't get me wrong, and it's not something you want to do, but in a way it is kind of peaceful and it is kind of, I guess, closing a chapter and being able to almost celebrate the life rather than it be this really, really sad thing.

Not saying I wasn't sad, it was horrible and I've cried many, many tears about it, but yeah, it's probably changed it from this really scary thing that I never wanted to experience into something where now I kind of know what it feels like and I'd probably, yeah, maybe in the lead up to saying goodbye, change how I kind of look at what that experience is going to be.

Were the things that you think made it easier and felt better, and is there anything you would do different next time?

Jordan: I think in terms of saying goodbye, the things that really helped, and I'm not just saying this because we're talking about sweet goodbye, but I think being prepared... I guess you think about the saying goodbye and you think about putting them down or whatever, but you don't think about what happens after that. And I think being prepared to go, okay, once they're gone, what happens then? Do I want to cremate them? Do I want to plant a tree and put their ashes in there? I think it's easy, especially when it's very rushed to just think about the very first thing that's going to happen, which is them passing away. But I think the thing that I think we did well was think about, okay, once that happens, then what? We'd organized a friend of ours who cremates dogs to come and pick them up and we thought about, yep, there's going to be a tree planted.

I think that kind of took the burden off the whole thing, having kind of thought those things through. So I think preparation and then I guess what I do differently, I think one thing I would do really differently with any kind of goodbye, and I know this is, you can't always kind of dictate this, but the difference between Dexter and Chuck with Chuck, we had about eight days between when we made the decision and when we booked it in, just logistically of me being able to come down south and have the time, and that was horrible. It was a really, really hard eight days. And I think that just prolonged, it kind of built up this moment to be so big and so emotionally charged. And all week, I feel like the whole family was just a mess and you want to make the most of the time you've got with them.

But I think when the time comes, if I was doing something differently, I think if the opportunity is there, I don't think I would drag that out as long as we did, but that's not always possible to make that call.

You did in-home euthanasia for both the dogs. For people who haven't experienced this before, how would you describe the experience?

Jordan: For anyone that hasn't done in- home euthanasia before or even euthanasia in general, I think, and I don't have anything to compare it to, I've never done it in a vet or any other place. But from my experience, I think in home, it was a very, very peaceful experience. The vet who did it was super lovely. And I think, I mean, even just the comfort of being able to be at home and cry and not have to worry about walking out of the waiting room and putting your sunnies on and driving home and things, I think being in the comfort of your home for you, but also the dog, like both Dexter and Chuck did not seem stressed at all. They were very calm. They were in a place they've always been in. So I think there was a sense of calm for everyone, humans and animals.

So for me, I would absolutely, if anyone asked me, should I do it at home or the vet? If you have the opportunity to do it at home, to me, that was 10 times better than having to take the dog somewhere, do it in a public space in front of people. And I hate crying in front of people. So to then have to leave the vet would've been horrible. But yeah, I think just probably the best word is just it was really calm and peaceful.

What would you say to someone who's feeling guilty or scared of making the decision?

Jordan: I think feeling guilty is really normal because it's a very weird thing to take a life. We don't really take lives apart from animals. I know with Chuck, for probably a week after, I think I read a hundred articles and watched TikToks and videos about, did I do the right thing? Did I take a life too early? How to know if I did the right thing? And I really did have this feeling of guilt, but I think that went away over time. I think it was almost like a part of grief was the decision being made and whether it was the right one. I think still I'd come back to, there's never going to be a right time. And after now seeing Chuck versus Dexter, I'm so glad that we did Chuck when he was still where he was because the other end of the spectrum was seeing Dexter who was really not in a good way.

And it was really sad to see him have his last couple of days in pain and not being in a good way. And I think Chuck was in pain, but not outwardly. So I think if you're dealing with guilt or you're feeling guilty to me, I just remember that there's not going to be a right time. But if you feel that the action is necessary, again, I think maybe our vet told us this, that you're doing a favor for the dog and you are taking their pain away by you having to take the pain and cry and whatnot. So yeah, I don't think there's really a way. I don't think anyone could tell me anything that would make me feel less guilty at the time, but yeah, I think just knowing that you're doing the right thing and if you think it's the right thing, if you feel like you're doing it for the right reasons, then that's as much as you can do.

Having gone through saying goodbye twice recently, what have your dogs taught you about love and letting go?

Jordan: Having gone through losing two dogs who are both 16 and 15, so it's half my life have had them around. I think dogs, pets are just a special type of love that, and I know especially when they're not there, I know when Iggy's not here because she's down at my parents' house for the weekend or something, just the feeling of having something in the house. I work from home all the time, so there's always company and that unconditional love and they come and sit next to you on the couch. I think you can't always get that from things that aren't animals. So yeah, I think not necessarily taught me anything about love, but I think just if you haven't had a pet before, I think you don't really know what that type of love is.

You would literally do anything for them. They give you nothing except for ask you for treats and pets and to look after them. But yeah, it's just an overwhelming sense of protection and love and the family that they have even when they're not a human is crazy.

Having experienced both those losses, has your relationship with Iggy changed since?

Jordan: Yeah, I think losing two dogs in a very short amount of time while also going through Iggy having cancer. I think now instead of just walking past Iggy, I walk past and give her a pat, or if she makes a sound because she wants my attention, I think twice. Before Chuck and Dexter leaving this earth, I feel like if I was busy, I’m kind of like, "Oh, I don't have time for a walk." Or if I'm in the middle of something” and she comes up and I can't pat her, I won't. Now I feel that any moment that I can show her some love I give her 30 seconds and she'll be the happiest dog on the planet. So I think it has just made me know that there actually is an expiry date to this love.

And I think before it happens, you kind of think it's make believe and it's never going to come. But now that I've realised actually that day can come and it will come, it's probably made me appreciate Iggy and give her a lot more love. So she's probably over it, but definitely give her a lot more.

There’s no perfect way to say goodbye. As Jordan’s experience shows, every decision, whether it’s when to let go, which treatment path to take, or how to honour a pet afterwards comes with uncertainty. But woven through it all is something steady: care, intention, and love.

Sometimes that looks like choosing comfort over intervention. Sometimes it’s giving yourself permission to pause and ask more questions. And sometimes, it’s simply being present offering a pat, a moment, a little more time because you understand just how finite that time is.

If there’s one thing to take from Jordan’s story, it’s this: you don’t have to get it perfect. You just have to lead with love, and trust that it’s enough.