Five Kids, One Beloved Dog, and the Hardest Goodbye

When Natalie first shared her life online, it was through the joyful chaos of raising quadruplets alongside a toddler. Her Instagram account, Kiki and the Quads, has since grown into a space where thousands of people follow the beautiful, messy reality of family life.

But alongside five children growing up in their home was another family member who had been there long before the quads arrived Honey.

Honey had been part of Natalie and her husband Kan’s life for nearly fourteen years. She was there through early adulthood, through the arrival of children, through countless ordinary days that quietly become the fabric of a family.

In this conversation with Sweet Goodbyes, Natalie shares the experience of preparing her children for Honey’s final days, how their family spent their last day together, and what she learned about honesty, grief, and giving children the chance to say goodbye.

Her reflections are thoughtful, raw and deeply relatable for any family navigating the loss of a beloved pet.

Have pets always been part of your life?
Natalie: Yeah, I always had a dog growing up. Kan didn't. He had a cat when I met him. I don't like cats!  We got Nala before we got married and then we got honey after we got married. So pets have always been part of our life.

You have five kids including quads, it's a really packed house. Why is having a dog still important in the family environment?

Natalie: We obviously had our dogs prior to having kids because I grew up with dogs, so I feel like they're a part of our lives. I guess it just come naturally to us. We got our second dog as we were almost struggling to conceive a little bit. So she kind of filled that space for us for quite a few years. I love dogs and we always just thought that we would have one. And I feel like it's just a nice feeling to share your space with something that gives you unconditional love. 

Cost of living, you've got five children, all the normal things that come with all that. Is it still worth making it all work and how do you make it all work?

Natalie: Absolutely. But the cost of living - Oh my goodness. Why is everything so expensive? Well, we've always had dogs, so I feel like they're just a part of the budget already and they just bring so much joy to our lives. It absolutely is had making it work, but I believe it's worth it because they're so special. Just like your mobile phone or your fuel or anything, it just becomes a part of your budget and you just make it work. It was almost like a non-negotiable for us.

What do you think growing up with the dog has given your kids that perhaps they wouldn't have had if they didn't have Honey?

Natalie: I think it's given them a sense of responsibility. I mean, let's be honest, they weren't overly responsible for honey, but they definitely made sure we would get them to help us feed her, make sure her water was full. Much to Kiana's discussed for the past year, she would actually pick up Honey's poo. She didn't love it, but she just did it. It definitely gave them some responsibilities. And it's nice. I guess it helped us connect as a family. We would often go for walks with her and she was just always around. So I feel like it's just something that connected us all as a family, gave the kids some responsibility. And yeah, I think that's nice for them.

When you realised Honey's time was coming, how did you approach that as a parent with the kids?

Natalie: Honey obviously was old, like 13, closer to 14. So it definitely was apparent in her physical health that she was slowly deteriorating. And over the past six months, it definitely progressively got worse. So I feel like as much as that's hard for all of us to see, in the positive light, the kids could visibly see that she was struggling physically. And in that last month, physically struggling to walk or get herself outside, that was very tough to see, but it made it clear for the kids that she was old and that she was unwell. We just had to have those uncomfortable conversations. Kids are very honest and they say it how it is. And we just had to explain to them that just like us our dogs can't live forever. So it's really important that we spend this last little bit of quality time with her and make her happy and comfortable and tell her how much we love her.
But yeah, it was uncomfortable and because kids don't have that life experience, this definitely gave it to them. We were just really honest in that she was old and unfortunately she can't be with us forever, but we're really lucky to have had her. And that's what's so special about dogs - they give us so much love and unconditional love, which is something that we think is so important. They took it as well as they could, I guess. Kids are pretty resilient.

What did they say? Was there anything that maybe surprised you in how they reacted to it or that you weren't prepared for maybe?

Natalie: Yes. Can we get another dog straightaway, which is like a arrow to the heart when you're grieving as an adult. But like I said, kids are resilient and they mean nothing by it. They're just children. And when I said absolutely not, they said, "What about a bunny?" So yeah, the quads, they're only five and a half, so it was a little bit different for them. Kiana, our seven-year-old, she had the strongest bond with Honey out of all of our kids, and that was very noticeable. She was the kid that every day would go outside, no matter if it was to jump on the trampoline, shoot some hoops, she would always stop and give Honey a pat no matter what. From the time Kiki was born, Honey was with her the whole time. And then we had this ridiculous life changing experience of bringing four babies home.
So at that time maybe Kiki developed a stronger connection with Honey, and that was really special. She definitely has taken it the hardest out of all of our kids. And the day that we had to put Honey to sleep and I was dropping Kiana at school, we actually gave her the option to come with us, but she chose not to. But she said to me as I was saying goodbye to her in her classroom, "Please mum, make sure Honey knows just how much I love her." So when Khan and I did have to say goodbye, we said out loud , "Honey, Kiki wants you to know just how much she loved you." Because she really did love her so much. And it was so apparent every day, even before she knew Honey was getting sick, before it was really clear, in her last few months. Kiki always made the effort to give her love and affection, which was so nice to witness.

How did you make Honey's last day special? What did you actually do? How did you share that with the kids? 

Natalie: We did. We wanted to take her to the beach, but unfortunately her back legs decided they didn't want to work anymore. That was one of the main catalysts of having to put her to sleep. So we ended up just staying home. We put the sprinkler on. It was a very hot day. And normally we would have surf club for the kids on a Sunday, but we just flagged all of those activities and we spent a beautiful family day at home. All of us, we sat outside in the sun. She was just laying around. We gave her so much love and affection and told her how much we loved her. We got ice cream and we all had ice cream outside and Honey had ice cream and a cone and the kids just let her lick their ice creams. It was just so wholesome. Nothing big, fancy or expensive, but it was just so beautiful. The kids were jumping on the tramp and then they would get off and give her a pat and then they'd get back on the tramp. We would've loved to have taken her to the beach, but it wasn't really possible on that last day. But we made sure we spent all day at home with her and gave her all the love and affection we could and some treats! It was actually so beautiful. We're so glad we did that.

Is there anything that you would've done differently or is there anything that you're really grateful for that you did in that last bit of time you had with her?

Natalie: No, I don't think we would've done anything differently. I'm really glad we did what we did. And it was just our family, really wholesome. I know that she felt all the love come from us. And we still did take her. I did take her twice that day, really just to the end of our road and let her ... We've got a big empty clearing, so she just had a little sniff around and just so I could let her sniff and smell the grass and walk on the leaves and just have a nice little moment. I took her twice that day. But no, I don't think I would've changed it at all. It was just perfect for our family.

So grief, what did it look like ? How was the family after it had happened? How did the kids react?

Natalie: Like I said, kids are so resilient. It obviously took its toll on Khan and I way more than the children. They would definitely make comment on it. I really noticed her presence gone. I feel she was there for so long and maybe sometimes until something is gone, you don't realise just how much their presence and their energy takes up space where you are. But in the mornings I would get out of bed and I'm an early riser, but no matter what time I would get up, I would hear a little tail hitting our couch because that's where her bed was. So little things like that I notice. Sometimes you go about your day every day and then thing is missing becomes obvious. Until the last week of Honey's life, we would come home no matter where we went and she would be standing at the gate crying so loud with excitement that we were home even when she was old and unwell. So things like that, you come home and you'd just always be listening for Honey crying at the gate because even at 14, she was still doing it. She'd eat the kids scraps from their plate. I would always be like, "Give it to Honey" and now she's no longer there. But we felt her presence so much, how much space she really did take up in our home and our lives and in our hearts. And yeah, it's so hard. You don't understand until I guess it's missing. And she was there for so long. That's a really long time, 14 years to be a part of our life. So I think it's only natural. But the kids were very resilient. Khan and I still now, it's obviously still pretty fresh for us. And I loved taking her around the block. It was actually an escape for me to get away from my five kids. I'm like, "I need to walk Honey today. She hasn't been walked". Now I don't have that excuse to get out away from my kids and take her around the block. I probably feel like it's massive. And again, you don't realise sometimes until it's gone just how much of an impact it has on you or they have on you.

You had Honey cremated, what did you do with her ashes? How did you explain this to the kids?

Natalie: Nala unfortunately had to go to heaven when she was seven. She got pretty aggressive bone cancer and we chose to have her cremated. And so the same thing for Honey, we got her poor prints and her ashes back and they're sitting side by side out there in our living area. I guess it's a little bit of a tricky conversation to have with five and seven-year-olds. They don't really understand how is the dog in the box. And kind of saying that you've got their ashes can be a little bit awkward. But again, we were very honest with the kids. We can't keep her in this physical capacity so they can make her smaller and this is still her. Yeah. And we've kept both of them side by side.
I'm not sure if there was a reason behind it. I guess because I know a lot of people tend to bury their family dog where they are, but we are not sure this is our forever home because we've outgrown it having all the kids. So I guess we'd like to take them with us wherever we end up in our forever home. 

You obviously shared this very openly on social media. What made you decide to share Honey's passing?

Natalie: As you know, I do have a public platform and I've shared a lot of our stories and our journey over the past probably five and a half, six years now since falling pregnant with the four. So it just kind of comes naturally to me. And there are some things that I always second guess sharing, a lot of things actually, but I have a very genuine, loyal, and I feel authentic community, not a massive following, but I feel like they're all very beautiful people. I'm very blessed. I don't ever feel like I have anyone pushing back really. If anything, I guess it just made me feel normal. Sometimes when you go through situations like that, you think I might overreacting. Should I feel this sad? But if anything, everyone was just like, "I know how you feel. We had this same experience last year," or, "Oh my gosh, I still cry at the look of a picture of my puppy and she passed away eight years ago." 

If anything, it just gives you that clarity that it's okay to feel like it's all relative. If that's how you feel, that's how you feel. I've shared most of my journey really over the past six years, so it does come naturally to me. And I do feel like my community is very open to me just being real and authentic. I share everything else. So just because it is a bit uncomfortable, I don't feel like I shouldn't share it. If anything, the opposite, because it might make someone going through the same thing feel like, "I'm not silly for feeling this sad about losing a family pet." 

Did it help you a little bit with the grieving process? 

Natalie: Yeah, I feel like it did. And not that you need confirmation from anybody else that your feelings are valid, but yeah, I feel like it's nice. And a lot of my people, honestly, a lot of my followers over the past six years comment on how placid and patient honey is. They see her in the back of my crazy stories and she would just be lying there, taking in this chaos of four toddlers running around or now my kids on their scooters and bikes and the amount of people that just always send me little messages like, "I can't deal with how Honey is just, " or, "I wonder what Honey's thinking or how her life changed." Obviously we went from just having one little two-year-old to these four newborns, and I know dogs can't speak, but we just used to see her lying there. She was the most patient placid dog, the perfect dog for our crazy family.
I feel like everything happens for a reason. There was a reason that we chose her. And I feel like so many people new of Honey or attached to Honey because they've been following me for the past six years that it was kind of nice to share the experience and the journey with everyone as well.

What would you encourage other parents to do with their children, if they were going through or about to go through a similar thing?

Natalie: I would just say be honest. Kids are very resilient and kids want to know the truth. I spoke to my best friend about this prior to making the decision to send Honey to heaven. And she still remembers 20 years ago when she came home from school and her parents had put their family dog down and didn't give her and her siblings any warning. And she still, to this day, holds so much resentment for not being able to say goodbye. And so I had that conversation with her before we made this decision. I know it's hard and kids are, they're going to ask questions and they're going to want to know, but I feel like it was so nice for us to give our family the opportunity to ... I mean, and not everyone is as lucky as that sometimes, unfortunately, our pets are going to pass away on their own time, but to give our kids the opportunity to say goodbye, spend that last time with her, ask us any questions and know what was going on.

And I guess be prepared, which again, unfortunately some people don't have that option. I think it was great. And I would highly recommend if you were in that same situation as us, to be open and honest as much as you can be and give your kids the opportunity to spend a bit of quality time, say their goodbyes, ask any questions. So it's not that shock. My friend who still is deeply hurt that she didn't get to say goodbye to their family dog of 13 years because her parents thought that they were doing the right thing, and she still wishes she could say goodbye. I'm not telling anyone what's right or wrong, but I'm so glad we did it the way we did.

I guess it's that fine line maybe some people feel because their kids are older and they can really voice themselves and know my kids are younger, so like I said, they're resilient straightaway. They're like, "When are we getting another dog?" But I guess teenagers can have all those extra hormones and emotions, and I'm sure it can be really challenging, but as much as they might be fighting against their parents because they don't want that to happen, I do still feel like at the end of the day, they would be more grateful that they got to say goodbye and spend a nice bit of time with personal opinion.

And when you know its time.....
It's one of those things, you know that it's not fair on them. They can't tell you it's time. So we're the ones that ... And we're never ready. We never want to be ready, but that's like, we are so privileged to be able to have a dog and have their love. We're so lucky, but we have to be the ones and the strong ones because it's never easy and you never want to be the one. Even Kan and I would say it's almost like one of us wanted to be the one to say it's time because no one wants to be that one. It's awful. But we just had to remind ourselves that she had such a good life and a good quality life and the best time. And we were keeping her alive because we didn't want to be the one to make that awful decision.

But if their quality of a life is suffering, and unfortunately if Honey Dog got to the point she couldn't get out the door without her legs kind of giving away on her, then it's time. It's not fair on her that can't speak to us. Yeah, it was time, but it's never easy no matter what.

Losing a pet is never easy  especially when children are experiencing that loss for the first time.

Natalie’s story reminds us that while these moments are difficult, they can also be deeply meaningful. By choosing honesty, slowing down, and creating space for a final day together, her family was able to honour Honey’s life in a way that felt loving and intentional.

For Natalie, the experience reinforced something many families discover: the grief we feel reflects just how much these animals shape our lives. They are part of our routines, our homes, and our hearts.

And while the goodbye is painful, the years of unconditional love that come before it are what make it so worthwhile.